Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Letter to The IRS

I heard this on the radio during my drive in to work the other day.

Taxed to excess

Dear IRS,

I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost.

I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog licence tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting licence tax, fishing licence tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle licence registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can’t recall but I have run out of space and money.

When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangle, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Dashelle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.

P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.

Ed Barnett

Wichita Falls, Texas
Good job Mr. Barnett, that was one great letter.

You can find the letter on the Wichita Falls TimesRecordNews.

I once wrote a letter to the IRS, the results of which were not very pleasant. I became a partner in a small government contracting business shortly after getting out of the Navy. It was an opportunity that I kind of fell in to, and it was really good for me and my family. I hooked up with a major general contractor for .gov construction projects on the West Coast and had jobs lined up for the foreseeable future. The the Base Realignment And Closures (BRAC) Commission pretty much shut down all the jobs that I had in the pipeline. I pretty much lost everything, moved to Colorado to find work, and took a job paying less than $8.00/hour in a meat processing plant. I had an... "well heck I don't even know what to call it" investment that managed to generate a $10,000 profit on the books without putting a penny in my pocket. I ended up owing the IRS $3k. So I wrote a nice little letter and included it with my tax return stating that I understood that I owed the taxes but just didn't have the money to pay them. It was not long after that I picked up my paycheck and it was only $8.00. The next paycheck was $6.00. That hurt.

It seems the IRS does not have a lick of humor.

Too bad I wasn't a member of the Obama Cabinet.

H/T to Mike's America for posting the letter.


Old NFO said...

Yeah, we're not democrats, so they have NO sense of humor... besides, can you see them garnishing a congresscritter's wages????

Turk Turon said...

My tax accountant has told me NEVER to write a letter to the IRS telling them that I realize that I haven't paid all that I owe and I will pay the balance as soon as I can. That will initiate the IRS's special collection procedures. He told me to just send them what I can on April 15th. Then, 90 days later, they will send me a notice that I still owe them, and assessing interest. Then I pay them what I can, and 90 days later they will send me another notice, and this will continue until I have paid all of it. If you send them a letter, in some cases, they will begin to monitor the taxpayer's checking account, and if their computers spot a balance exceeding what you owe, they'll just take it!

So my tax guy sez don't tell 'em. It's perfectly legal, he sez, it just gives you a less-objectionable collection method.

But, caveat emptor! Get professional advice.