I was perusing the list of introduced legislation for the 2009 Texas legislative session when I came upon this little gem:
Sec.A797.001.
DEFINITION. In this chapter, "novelty lighter" means a mechanical or electrical device typically used for lighting cigarettes, cigars, or pipes that has entertaining audio or visual effects, or that resembles in physical form or function articles commonly recognized as appealing to or intended for use by children under 18 years of age. The term includes lighters that resemble cartoon characters, toys, guns, watches, musical instruments, vehicles, toy animals, food, or beverages.This is the kind of legislation that Democrat Representative "Mando" Martinez thinks is so important that he gets it introduced early. If you happen to live in District 39, you might want to let "Mando" know just how disappointed you are in this time and money wasting piece of legislation.
5 comments:
Last Christmas, my kids got me one that is about a foot long and looks like a Winchester 1300 Defender. Does he want to ban it because it's a lighter or because it looks like a gun?
What next? If you use a Zippo lighter with a Confederate Battle Flag on it in a public place is that a hate crime or a fire code violation? How about letting children be children and parents be parents and let cops worry about real crime?
OGG,
I think they want to ban them because some kid might think they are a toy and accidentally burn themsleves. It is so silly!
I think this is another example of how the government thinks that children are wards of the state and how it doesn't trust parents to train and educate their own kids. UGH!
AC:
I caught the gist of the proposal. It is just a part of my sardonic sense of humor to figuratively slide down the slippery slope into absurdity to point out the absurdity at the end of the rainbow.
Dangerous practices I observed this morning:
1. Children dutifully marched off to public school walking along public roadways where cars are moving at speeds in excess of 5 mph without a proper police escort. Can you believe it?
2. Parents dutifully transporting their children to a public school in private cars traveling at speeds in excess of 5 mph. Oh the humanity of it!
3. Children dutifully riding on school buses on their way to a public school and said buses as of this writing do not have seat belts installed. Their parents should be flogged for allowing these children to be in such peril!
4. At the school are assemblages of piping that the children can climb on and transport themselves to an altitude twice their natural height and the only thing stopping them from falling to the ground below is their own little, tired, weak hands. My God in Heaven!
5. In this school are seats that have pools of water standing beneath the children's little butts and if one of them should try to keep (or is forced to keep) his head under this water for an extended period of time, he could drown. School administrators are worse than savages!
I'm sorry I can't write anymore. I'm overcome with emotion over this whole thing. I have to go get some comfort food. Where did my wife hide the Twinkies...?
Twinkies are COMFORT food? Dude, get you some bacon!! Or warm, buttered rolls. Or mashed potatoes with lots and lots of good, brown gravy...
B Smith:
Yes, Twinkies are in the antidepressant family of the food quadrangle as they provide "comfort." What you list are staples and I eat them (except for the pork; I'm allergic to "the other white meat") for basic survival.
And I still haven't found the darn Twinkies!
"Don't make me angry; you won't like me when I'm angry..."
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